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Maud's Fitness Routine

There has been none, the weight is piling on, the belly is excessively bloated for 2 weeks of the month, and it's difficult to put one foot in front of the other. Exercise? Maud doesn't think so, she's tried it and doesn't like it... she runs around enough (not!) she sits in front of a computer all day, getting even more bloated. Then come the evening, there is the necessity of alcohol, which she does have to admit causes even more bloat - but who cares when there is so much there already? Not Maud, as she knows that alcohol is the only remedy to alleviate menopausal symptoms. But secretly she does care ...

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Fitness and Menopause

do not go together. Competitive sports are out due to the hormonal woman being aggressively over-competitive or extremely tearful when not doing well

However, after many years of believing that there is no exercise remotely suited to the menopausal woman, Maud has discovered what she calls 'Electrocise'.

Maud used to be a highly fit young woman, training and riding horses, which basically means that although she did her share of mucking out and yard work, most of her exercise was of the sit-down variety - on a horse. None of this power walking, jogging or working out in gyms. And since she gave up horse riding as a career, Maud has struggled to find any sort of enjoyable fitness regime.

She has sampled nearly everything, from getting tangled up in strange equipment at the gym, to moving in mysterious ways at Tai Chi classes, but nothing suits basically due to the effort of leaving the house (and her wine) proving to be too much.

So until recently the only exercise has been to take gentle strolls with her retired greyhound, but he dislikes long walks and would much prefer to retire to bed with Maud, instead of braving the elements. (Greyhounds are brilliant therapy for those desperate times when you feel ugly, hormonal and unloved - they are always ready for a sofa day, or an early night and are renowned for snuggling up comfortingly to their lucky person.)

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Electrocise

is the way forward, according to Maud. She has discovered a very amusing mechanical horse riding machine that you can sit on while it jiggles your bits about. She doesn't have to do anything other than climb aboard and switch it on - even Maud can manage to do that. Plus she has managed to customise her exercise machine by adding a hobby horse that plays the theme tune to the Lone Ranger when you press it's ear!

So now Maud has discovered her very own method of effort-free exercise and the guilt of not exercising has gone. She doesn't really care whether it works or not as it's a great excuse to get away from the computer for 15 minutes and sit somewhere else.

A gentle warm-up on delicate days, or an all out racing jiggle to bounce away feelings of anger and frustration. Perfect! Maud's very own electric chair to exercise on - hence ELECTROCISE!

........	What a difference a few years can make!	............
Oh how one's body and aspirations can change....

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